The World of Advice

By far I am not the best in the dating realm, but I’d like to put my 2 cents in. Or at least quote from what I’ve read. I’ll also include some fall date ideas that I found online.

People talk about first impressions and how important they are. In the world of dating, a first impression can either set the stage for a great date or a bad one. So how can you prepare yourself to make a good first impression? Well, let me teach you.

The website “The Art of Manliness” has a great article on how to have a good first date. It states that 1) Plan the date out. I had the unfortunate happening of not planning a date out recently (all I had planned out was the topic of the date) and it didn’t run as smoothly as it could have. In planning out the date, make sure it’s payed for (by you) and that the two of you are paired off. These are classified as the 3 P’s (planned, paid, paired off.) Also, if you plan on picking her up in your vehicle, make sure it’s cleaned out. A quick wash and vacuum should do the trick. You may also want to spray some air-freshener too; not too much though. You don’t want your car to become a smoke house. Other tips include having cash on hand, dress appropriately, and inform her of when and where you will pick her up (usually at least a day in advance.)

2) The Pick-up. Be sure to let your date know what time you will pick her up. If you’re running late (even 5 minutes) call and let her know. Simply say that you’re running late and give an estimate of how long you’ll be. Yet, don’t show up too early. I say that showing up 5 minutes early is alright. That way if your date is an event that starts at a specific time, you won’t be late. Don’t show up more than 15 minutes early. Most girls like to pamper themselves (from my understanding) before a date. If you show up too early, then panic ensues and she may feel rushed.

When picking her up, don’t honk your horn. That’s just rude. Park the car, get out of it and knock on her door. Escort her (while making small talk) to your car. The website suggests to open the car door for her. That’s your call. I haven’t reached the point where I do that…maybe I should though. While driving, don’t have the radio on. Talk to her! The radio will distract. Ask her about her life and be sure to answer those same questions about your life. Ask her what she’s studying at school; what degree is she in; where is she from; does she have any siblings; how big of a family does she have; does she have any pets, etc. The point is to get to know her and for her to get to know you. Do you want a second date? Then prove it. Silence only fosters every thought possible of “What’s he/she thinking?” or “Did I do something wrong?” Just talk to her. If the conversation isn’t flowing, or it isn’t easy to make conversation with your date then don’t force it. Just ask a few questions and talk.

3) The Date. I have been told multiple times that a first date should never be a movie. I now agree with that. Why would you have a first date if you can’t talk to her and get to know her to see if you want a second date? I’m guilty of movie dates, mostly because I didn’t know what else to do for the date. Now, I feel that movie dates are more for a second or 5th date. Never for the first date. (Need date ideas? See the page “The Dates.”) There’s also no need to make this date complicated. Take her out for smoothies at a local ice cream shop. You want to go somewhere where the two of you can talk and mingle. Since it’s a first date, there’s no prolonged commitment involved. Yes you are committed to her for the date itself, but after that, you’re on your own.

4) The End. Now that the date has ended (either when you deemed so or when her curfew has arrived) you return her home. Once again, park the car and walk her to her door. Even if it’s during the day. Show her that you’re interested in her safety. Make small talk and thank her for the date. If she knows that you enjoyed the date (and if she did too) then a second date is possible. Lately I’ve asked to give a good-bye hug to my date. Sadly, I have given an awkward car hug and that was a bad idea. Don’t do that. Leave your car to hug her. Now, if you’re into kissing on the first date, do what you’d like. Another tip is that when you leave her at her door, that’s where you leave her. Unless your date plan involves actually entering into her house, just leave. When a date is over, both sides need time to think. I like to reflect on how the date went to see if I’d like to ask her out again. If she offers for you to come in, politely decline. Make an excuse if needed. Just leave. If she’s interested in you, she’ll respond to texts later.

5) A Second Date? The question arrises, “When can I ask her out again?” Frankly, there’s no formula for that. If you’d like, ask her as you leave her at her door. Especially if she says anything along the lines of “we should do this again.” That happened to me the other day and it made my day. Had I known better what my next week was going to look like, I would have made a second date right then and there. Other people have said “wait a week,” but another friend of mine (in a recent blog post) said that it really depends on the two people. I heard once from a married couple that the husband asked her out on a second date as he dropped her off from their first date. (That date did last into the wee hours of the morning, but that’s because they were enjoying themselves.) It’s really your call.

6) When should I text/call my date afterwards? My good man, you could send a thank you text when you get home from your first date. It’s a friendly reminder that you enjoyed the date. After that, give her some time and space to think her feelings through. If you want, you could text her the next day, towards the evening though. Send a generic text along the lines of “I hope your day has been going well.” If you want to make conversation, then add a question. If she wants to talk, she’ll respond and she might even include another question. Also, don’t send two texts in a row; unless it’s important. I.E. you need to know her address for the first date, or you need to confirm the pick-up time. Other then that, just be patient and wait for her to text back. We all live busy lives and sometimes I just don’t hear/feel my phone go off when I get a text. All in all, try to have face-to-face conversations with her. Texting is fine, but misinterpretation can happen very easily.

There you have it folks, my spin on dating advice. How did I do?


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