Another Opinion

The following came to my attention the other day and I wish for my readers to read it to gain another perspective on the 31 Dates idea. This point of view helped me to see the social experiment in a new light and helped me to see things that I didn’t consider when I was creating this project. Please keep in mind that this opinion is an opinion. If you wish to comment on it, please do so in a respectful manner. Thanks! 🙂

This made me mad. 

I don’t know a self-respecting girl who would be willing to be an integer of your 31 day conquest. At its face it seems like a playful, lighthearted way to meet a lot of new people. But underneath it looks like an “impress me” personality lineup. First, because you casually admit that you “don’t really feel like dating”. Do you really figure that you should “try this plan out” with no true desire to date? How would the girls you date feel knowing that this was an experiment that you didn’t really feel like doing?

Not only do you not feel like dating, but you have some rules about these people you are trying this out on: 

“She needs to be willing to… ” 
“She should also be able to…” 
“I also would like my date to be…”

You have pre-carved the box in which you want your date to fit. You have publicly informed an audience that you just won’t appreciate someone who doesn’t meet your standards and then cheerfully invite them to volunteer and sign up. Isn’t that a little intimidating? Not only are your standards posted, but you have informed the women that there will be one lucky winner. And it will be put to vote based on a side-by-side comparison like contestants on a television show. 

Dating for marriage is not about quantity. This shotgun approach is a setup for humiliating women on a publicly accessible blog. If you truly wanted the information about your dates to be for ” informing friends and family” then you would not make it a public website. You can create an email list or post it to an exclusive list on Facebook. Objectifying women, no matter if they were anonymous blind dates, is wrong. 

If you want to find a marriage partner you need to be willing to have a heart open to one person. Can you imagine how a girl will feel knowing that you accepted her date only to fill an empty calendar date and to reach an internet goal to fulfill a blog? Can you imagine how she will feel knowing you are going to take a different girl out tomorrow without regards to how her date went? Can you imagine how she will know that everything you are saying might have been said to every girl before her? How impersonal. 

Try this. Find one girl you find interesting. Treat her to every one of those 31 dates over time. See how much further a qualitative relationship can take you. (MY NOTE: I like this idea.) Don’t you dare treat women as calendar dates or a price under $31. Any woman willing to be that for you has no self-respect. 

I don’t particularly care if you believe your rules about alcohol, drugs, publicity, and housing have convinced you that the way you are controlling these dates is wholesome. Nothing about this shows any woman that she is worth something to you. That she is appreciated or even loved. You may keep your chastity and still dirty the esteem of another’s soul.

There it is folks. Come what may. This author is actually an old friend of mine and after I read this post, we talked about the 31 Dates idea and clarified somethings. I wasn’t mad when I read this article. I read it with the intent of seeing from their point of view. Other than that, have a great day!

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